What inspires you?

What inspires you?

Is it the coffee shop that feels like a friend’s living room?
Or more likely their kitchen, a little too warm, but nice by the window.
Even if there isn’t a breeze.

Is it delirium?
The feeling of shaking just under the surface, of too much coffee and too little sleep and all the other, little clichés?
Feeling like not-a-human and saying things sometimes wittier and sometimes dumber than you would without the syrupy glaze laying lethargically over your eyelids?

Is it caffeine? Is it alcohol? Is it some other, less legal drug?
(Legality comes in shades, you understand. It’s grayscale.)
They’ve inspired me, oh, how they have spurred thoughts in my head and actions in my bones. It’s a special feeling, you feel like you’re the only one in the world and you love it and you crave it.
And you inevitably feel a lingering piece of shame like a string of apple between your teeth.

Is it music?
Angry (-sounding) words (you don’t know) spit over tripping bars? Symphonies of sound and you can’t name a single instrument. Soaring melodies and fast beats and twisted lyrics you have to write down to puzzle out.

Is it death?
The shocking and sad occurence that surprises and grieves you but all at once feels so separate, so distant, that it’s not really like that person died. Not actually.
Does it make you want to live better, more, stronger, harder?
Does it make you want to reach out and grab people and shake them and tell them their time is so short, shorter than the realize or plan for, and the things they’re upset by are really, really, trivial… but then so is everything else.
Does it make you want to slap people who say it comes in threes?
Because you know, they’re right.
It did for me.
Don’t worry, most of them you won’t know personally.

Maybe it’s being naked. Or sunshine. Or a particularly good TED Talk.
I’m not here to judge.

What inspires you?
Does anything inspire you?
No, listen, really.
You have to. You have to find something.
I don’t care what or how, it can be stupid or vague or laughable or pitable.
But you can’t live without inspiration.
I mean that quite literally. Something makes you nourish your body, something makes you draw breath. It makes you choose to feed yourself, with food of course. And with love. And satisfaction and contentment.

This is how it works.
The inspiration. Starts.
The thing comes to you. And then.
Then you’re able to feed yourself, to draw in the next thing, the thing that makes you happy. And you feed on the happy, the satisfy, the content.ment.

What inspires you?
What inspires you?

What is it, then, that inspires you?

Don’t worry.

I won’t tell.

 

 

 

 

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